A Poem

I've been meaning to put this online, but haven't yet. Some of these are just me "spewing" out stuff, but they mean a lot to me. Let's see how many smokers relate? I have real poems, but this is just one of the better letters I'm writing to cigarettes. A poem will also follow this letter.


How do I live without this neediness?
Can I write 'you' away, pray you gone?
How do I not freak out when I see
I've only got a few or just one left in the pack?
Want to banish the panicky urge to go get more so you are always there!


With nobody and nothing to lean on as a lost teenager,
'You' provided a weird sort of comfort, security...
That I could seem "cool", "independent"...a grown up
At long last...or so I thought. So you made it seem to me.
All those "cool" and "popluar" kids smoked back then...and I fell for the lie
Got me "in" to places in life just like booze did--places no one should go.

I see now it was inevitable that I learned how to smoke.
My grandma did it, some of my favorite people as well...and some still do.
Even as internally, mentally--as strong as I have become over the years--
This is the hardest battle of all, in all of my life.

BURNING SMOKE
I've had my fingers burned, clothes, so many times,
Cash going up in chemical smoke--
I've hurt my children for this so many times,
S'no wonder I'm always broke!!!
No matter where, or brand, or type of "stick"
"Virginia", or "Joe Cool", or that horse and "Man"
"You're nothing without these, for sure man!"
I must not have come "a long way baby"
Or felt relaxed, or cool, or clever enough
Cause it went from 5...to 10...to 30...to LIFE!
Sucked out of me, one long or short "stick" at a time...after time...after TIME!
But now my lungs, hair, face, all say I'm running out of time fast.
So I think I've found a solution to this slow death at long last.
(And I CAN do it till it's done this last time maybe!)
No more lies, rationales, vague illnesses
My son told himself AND me "no more excuses!"
I'm moving on slowly and am thrilled to do so--getting one more life back!
One more human back maybe...from a living death.

Have a great day. Cheers.